Wonder Woman, Emotional Gravity and other Confidence Boosters

At the Women’s Business Club our top priority is to support women in business but a very close second to that is to help them grow in confidence.  Confidence is the currency to life and should be prized higher than most of the things that we value. Confidence can be lost and confidence can be gained. I believe that confidence is also a choice. Having grown up an extreme introvert that shied away from people constantly, I can tell you the very day that I made the decision to be confident. It was right before a job interview and I decided that they needed me more than I needed them so chatted to the interviewers normally as if in a friendly conversation rather than as an intimidated interviewee.  Needless to say after two interviews at two different companies, I ended up with two job offers to choose from.  Confidence certainly paid off.

The same applies to business, the confident business woman is automatically more attractive to her clients. There are probably a million psychological reasons why this is true which we won’t go into, but it is true. Just think about the women you are usually drawn to.

Before we move into how to become more confident let’s quickly sort one thing out.  Confidence is not arrogance. I have been both sorts of woman.  During my arrogant days I masked my lack of confidence with arrogance.  Arrogance is usually a sign of insecurity, especially in women.  Security is a good understanding of who you are and that it’s okay to be the way you are.  Insecurity is not feeling good enough in a particular area within yourself or environment.  Arrogance is pretending that you don’t feel that way that is expressed in many ways, usually by putting other people down to feel better or boasting about knowledge or possessions that you have.  No matter what shape or form arrogance takes, it is always very unattractive.

Becoming confident didn’t mean that I stopped being an introvert.  It meant that I accepted that I am an introvert and that I am okay with it.  It meant that I accepted I would not be the life of any party but was more likely to be drawn into deep one-on-one conversations at business events for example.  So let’s look at some ideas on how you can boost your confidence.

Physical Position

Standing up
At Women’s Business Club networking events we always encourage the ladies to stand when they do their 60 second elevator pitch.  Not only does this give them the full attention of the room but it also has a psychological and chemical impact on their confidence and the listener’s confidence in the pitcher. Stand up, shoulders back and smile – if your hands are shaking hold onto the chair or table.

The Wonder Woman pose
Amy Cuddy, social psychologist and professor at Harvard Business School, did some significant research on the link between our physical posture and confidence, it is fascinating.  One of the things that she recommends to boost your confidence is the Wonder Woman pose.  Before you have to do something that requires confidence, go somewhere private and spend two minutes in this pose by puffing out your chest, planting your hands on your hips, and standing with feet hip-width apart.  This pose can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on your chance for success.

The power posture
A typical male power posture would be to clench his hands behind his head and put his feet up on the desk. It’s a power posture but probably not advisable for women, especially when wearing a skirt! A better power posture for a women might be to stand at her desk and lead slightly forward with her hands on the desk creating a triangle position with her upper body. Of course don’t lean forward so much that you boobs hang out – that is not a power posture.  Have good posture in general, it does affect your confidence and how people perceive you.

Mental Position

You are good enough
Make a simple decision to believe that you are good enough because you are. We are ALL born with particular natural gifts and talents.  Focus on your strengths regularly and use them as often as possible to grow in confidence.  When you are feeling particularly good about yourself, spend some time developing your weaknesses.

You choose
You have the power of choice so use it.  Choose to be happy, choose to be successful, choose to lead a balanced life, choose whatever you want.  Once you have chosen it speak about it as it if already exists and believe it.  Not only will you be more confident but you will also get what you choose to get out of life.

Emotional Position

Emotional music
Music is a powerful tool that affects your emotions.  I have heard of women that even have theme songs to their life.  If you need a power boost or a confidence boost before a significant event, use your favourite power music to get you in the right mood for what you are about to do.

Volunteer
There is a lot of research that suggests that volunteering makes you feel good about yourself.  Why not volunteer at a local charity, church, school or become a regular financial contributor.  What you gain will be so much more than what you give.

What goes up must come down
Recently I wrote a book called Emotional Gravity, which takes an in-depth look at how our emotions affect us and how we can use them to build a great life.  The alternative is that we allow our emotions to control us, sadly too many people allow this to happen.  Emotions are a huge part of life and business. If we learn how to use them and grow in emotional intelligence, we will also grow in confidence.  Get your copy of Emotional Gravity on Amazon

These are just a few simple keys to boosting your confidence, share your confidence boosting tip in the comments box below.

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